


Serotonin

by MarkyLee



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Brief mention about anemic, Caring, Family, Happy Ending, Hard-working Mark Lee, I just want some Mark X dreamies contents, Light Angst, Low self-care, Mark Lee (NCT) is Bad at Feelings, Other, Sad, Slight Markhyuck if you wink, Stress, Stressed Mark Lee (NCT), Swearing, Warm, Warm-up fic for me, cursing, love yourself, sick, taeyong best leader, tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27363262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarkyLee/pseuds/MarkyLee
Summary: “It’s a lie if I'm saying I'm doing okay, clearly I'm not and hearing someone just... I don't know keeps throwing remarks at me. The anger just suddenly pops up and the next moment I knew, it was too late to turn back. Maybe it just the bottles up anger and sad I’ve been keeping but hey who knows? I swear that I regret it so much, I’m so sorry.”  Chenle quiets for a moment, slowly munching the food that he bought.“It’s okay, we are humans. No one’s perfect and we have our bad days sometimes and it’s okay to let it out. At least, we know that you are not okay Mark-hyung. For some reason, I’m glad that you were upset that day”.
Relationships: Mark Lee (NCT) & NCT Dream Ensemble, Mark Lee (NCT)/NCT Dream Ensemble
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Serotonin

**Author's Note:**

> Hi !!!! First of all, I want to thank my soulmate eni (you know who you are ;>> ) for being my beta but hhh some parts are added last minute so there might be grammatical errors , sorry ><  
> Next, is for Any for being a beautiful and pretty person as always, cheer up baby :D Thank you for being healthy and I hope you continue to shine as always.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I suck at English so get ready hah.

“You don’t really know anything do you?”. He continues, “You don’t know how exhausted Mark-hyung is, you don't even know about his tight schedule —heck has you even seen it? He always smiles and tolerates our behavior.”

Chenle is fuming and others try to calm him but fails miserably. It was a onetime thing and Haechan decided to ruin the atmosphere.

~~~

“Mark hyung!! You are back. I thought you have other schedules right now?”

Mark was about to settle down on one of the chairs when Haechan suddenly muttered,

_“Go then, since you are so busy. We don’t need you here.”_

Others clearly see how exhausted Mark was, when his broad grin turned into a heavy grimace instead. It was unusual since Mark always ignored any cheeky or rude statements being thrown at him from the members. But this time, instead of ignoring it, he stood up, picked up his Vans bag and walked away from the said room without a single glance.

If the members were shocked, it was clearly an understatement.

“Yeah we don’t know, because he never tells us anything,” Jeno decides to voice out his opinions but that clearly didn’t calm the tense situation.

“Hah! Wow .. just wow. Jeno, you too?”

“He never tells you anything because you guys don’t even bother to ask him _‘How are you hyung? Did you eat yet? You wanna tell me how your day was?’_. He never tells you guys anything because not one of you in front of me has ever had a proper conversation with him! All I’ve ever heard were _‘Where’s Mark hyung ? Mark hyung busy? Mark hyung no fun.’_

Chenle finish his sentences and he certainly feel that his face is burning with enragement. He never knew what Mark hyung is feeling right now as he’s busy spitting fire to the other Dream members.

_I should leave them and go to Mark hyung. They don’t deserve him,_ thought Chenle _._

Chenle is so exasperated and decides that he has enough. He run out of the room, ignoring the cries from Jisung asking him to come back and wait for him.

“Well, we’ll just apologize then?”.

“You know _Lee Donghyuck_ , when someone has been doing the same thing and apologizing for the same fucking reasons... your “sorry” won't mean a thing anymore. It tastes vulgar to the ears of that person. If it’s me, I would be ashamed. Shouldn’t you be fucking ashamed right now?” Spitting venomous words are not Jaemin’s thing since he’s a quiet and centered person, but this time, he gives it a choice. Once in a while.

Later after that, he walks out fervently chasing after Chenle, and if he’s lucky enough, maybe he finds Mark too.

Mark is walking down the stairs but it feels more like he’s running. He doesn't realize he’s the epitome of rage and disappointment, until he sees himself in one of the door’s reflections. Hunched back, and big dark circle laughing at him mockingly. He pities the stylist for having to cover up his grey-purple eyebags. The area of his misery seems to spread day by day and he wonders if the stylist can conceal it up later in the future.

He’s _tired_. Extremely exhausted with the non-stop schedules but he won’t, will never ever tell people that he’s currently battling with stress and low self-care. He doesn't remember when was the last time he ate.

_Was it this morning? Did I grab the chocolate bar Taeyong asked me to?_

“Hyung!!!! Mark hyung wait for me –"

“Chenle... Wh-Why are you crying?” Mark asks timidly. He knows the reasons behind those pearly beads staining the younger’s cheeks but acting dumb is the most plausible solution in the moment.

Honestly, he wanted to be selfish right now. He couldn't even handle his emotions and seeing Chenle crying just fueled his attempt to run away, far away from his problems. Caring for other people is the last thing he wants to do right now. He doesn’t want to sound mean but maybe if he doesn't enter the room all of this won't happen? Maybe inserting him back into DREAM is a fucking big mistake?

Years of separation from them with him involved in different group activities, the special dynamic is gone and unbalanced. The once ‘friendship group’ have clearly crumbled day by day, rusted by the silence treatment from his side. Again, it is his fault, the least he could do is to suck it up and wallow in self-pity.

_Haechan.. Lee Donghyuck. Why does he keeps blaming me?_

Jaemin is seeing all of the scenes in front of him quietly. From Mark fuming and mumbling alone to seeing Chenle rushing to Mark’s side.

He should have step out from his hiding spot, but he is scared. He doesn't know why but revealing himself in front of Mark right now make him feel guilty and vulnerable. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to be on the ‘bad side’ when it was someone else's fault but at the same time he’s scared to be brave. He doesn’t want to get out from his comfort cocoon just to apologize for the current problems.

_I wish I can be braver._

From his secluded space, he sees how Mark's self-features looks weak. Where his shoulders are slump and his face looking pale. The bag he’s carrying is not that heavy. He bets that Mark only carries his white-crumpled journal book gifted by the members and some pens. Pretty sure nothings more. Except for his spare practice shirts. But then, a thud is heard, Jaemin looks up and he sees Mark’s face kisses the cold-dirty floor.

~~~

He wakes up with a heavy breathing. It's not the same as the movies scene where the main character is asking where they are or how do they get here.

He wakes up, feeling burden and everything feels heavy. He wishes, just a simple wish to let him rest even for just a moment. Glancing weakly around the room, he sees the familiar wall with a bunch of frames. Some of it are his photos with the members, hanging polaroid of his and Johnny when they are recording The Bad Smell, and photos of him and the dream members laughing. It was taken during the Go era. _How much time flies now compared to back then?_ His small room shine in bright lavender color -- the one Johnny bugs him to change millions of times for no reason.

Crazy to think that he is supposed to be at the studio right now to write lyrics and not in his room lying semi-half unconscious in his bed. Well, at least he’s not at the practiced room with a bunch of clothes wrapping him up. Not complaining but he can't stand the body odors.

Mark chuckles, reminiscent the time when he was so tired and he decided to fall asleep on the floor, apparently waking up to Johnny’s huge sweaty hoodie covering his entire body.

“Need to wake up...” mumbles him as he tried to move but _holy shit._ He couldn't wake up from his lying position without the need to throw up. He needs to move his fragile body, faster if he can because the deadline is near and shit, if he doesn't finish the song, he,

“Don’t move,” he looks to his left, where Taeyong is sitting at his workspace, arms crossed, and brows knitted. His silhouette is filled with heavy threat mixing up with extra exhaustion. Double scary and Mark,

Mark had to find excuses fast.

“What were you thinking? When was the last time you ate? Do you even shower cause you stink, the fuck Mark? I told you to take care of yourself billions of times. I can’t monitor you all the time, but I think I’m going to do it now! Please, the last time this happens, you fainted in the recording room alone! If it is not because of Johnny looking for me, you will die in that room alone. Oh my god, thinking back, why did I went home early that day,” Taeyong is rambling at this point and he doesn’t give a chance for Mark to speak.

_Oh my god, I’m so dead._

“Die? Hyung that’s a bit too much isn’t it? Doctor said I’m fine, I just need to rest a lot--”

“You are anemic! Don’t pressure yourself too much. Please, I’m worried okay? This is clearly not the first time isn’t it? The way you are so used to it, but it’s the second and the last time for me! So, don’t repeat it again okay. We care about you Mark--”

“--Okay you know what? You are banned from working and you are under my watch. I’m talking to manager and you need a few days off”

“Hyung!! You are worrying too much right now. Please calm down, I swear I’m okay.” Mark whines and struggles to get up from his bed. He succeeds in walking for a few steps, at least out of the bed but not until Taeyong pull him back.

“Where do you think you are going?”

“err I’m just...”

“Sit down right now or I’m calling Johnny and I swear you are not going to see the light of the day if he comes here.”

True to his words, Taeyong talks to their manager asking Mark to ‘lay low’ for a week. And that itself is too much for him. Being busy since he’s a teenager makes him restless at the new giving information. He feels guilty for not doing anything but at the same time he knows that he needed this.

_Time_.

More time for himself.

He’s getting claustrophobic when it's only been a few hours. The room seems to get smaller and smaller and he swears that his oxygen is going to run out soon. He’s getting anxious and his hands need to do something. Anxiously searching for his bags so that he can open those disgusting crumple book but it seems that his bag is nowhere to be seen. Someone must have hide it. To prevent him from causing more damage to his current self.

_God this is torture_. He let out a low groan and the dissatisfaction of being trapped in here for god who knows how long.

_Have 3 hours passed already?_

Taeyong appears into his room without knocking. A soft thud is heard as Mark glances up slowly. Pulling a week off from his schedule is a goddamn mess, and now, invalidating his privacy is a new major issue for him. At least, that’s what Mark thinks.

The man smells fresh from the shower as Mark can feel the intense amount of soap the guy in front of him used. As Taeyong steps closer, the fragrance of body lotion surrounds the room. Under Taeyong’s gaze, he feels like he’s being scrutinized by those eagle eyes. Well, he stinks and he’s hungry. Nothing much for a sick and annoyed dude.

“Since I told you I’m going to take care of you, so I did this,”

“Did you just make .. a few damn lists for me?” Mark hisses.

“Yes and I bought vitamins for you, please eat something after this.”

“But hyung--”

One second after that, the sound of the door being close echoes in Mark’s room.

_-There will be one-member BABYSITTING you. EVERYDAY OR MOSTLY._

_-Don’t forget to eat Marky <3_

Fuck life.

First day went well, the presence of Taeyong only lasted until afternoon and after that he’s gone. It gives Mark a sense of comfort and peace.

Lots of healthy dishes were prepared for him and he’s so thankful for it. But among it, a medium size box of pizza is placed among the mountain of food.

_Well, that’s kind of..weird?_

Nevertheless, he grabs a slice of that heaven’s food and doesn't complain of how bland the pizza is. The weather is nice plus it’s quiet and peaceful. Perfect. That's all he needs. Maybe getting a week off wasn't a bad idea after all.

Wrong. He assumes too soon.

Not long after that, the sound of the door being open —and then, there’s Chenle with his big bright smile. The bright boy approaches him with huge bags, left and right.

“Hyung!! I brought you some food !!”

  * _Don't forget to eat whatever the members bring to you!! :DD_



“Hyung”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you , you know, so angry that day ? I’ve never seen you like that before. And I'm so sorry if I did something wrong”. Honestly, thinking back about it, he got a lot of explanation to do. To everyone and mostly to the members foremost.

“I don’t know what got into me but suddenly I feel so sensitive about everything?”

“It’s a lie if I'm saying I'm doing okay, clearly I'm not but hearing someone just... I don't know keeps throwing remarks at me. The anger just suddenly pops up and the next moment I knew, it was too late to turn back. Maybe it just the bottles up anger and sad I’ve been keeping but hey who knows? I swear that I regret it so much, I’m so sorry.” Chenle quiets for a moment, slowly munching the food that he bought. 

“It’s okay, we are humans. No one’s perfect and we have our bad days sometimes and it’s okay to let it out. At least, we know that you are not okay Mark-hyung. For some reason, I’m glad that you were upset that day”. Mark is about to pick the last slice of pizza but stop in the middle of doing it.

It’s weird being in a conversation where he needs to be vulnerable and open to people. It’s weird but it feels great. He feels the glow of happiness starting to bloom inside of him. Maybe he needs to let it out more by talking to his members. They are his family after all.

“Do you hear that guys?”.

Mark stiffens when the younger boy holds his phone up and the bright screen shows that he’s on the phone with Jeno. Clearly, not only Jeno at the other side because after that, Jisung and Jaemin starting to get berserk by apologizing multiple times to him. One after another. 

“Hyung, let’s go eat together some time yeah?”

Renjun whispers softly and Mark’s melts at how timid these boys are behaving towards him.

“Oh! Haechan has another schedule to be with, so, for that hyung you need to settle it by yourself. Goodluck!” Chenle slaps Mark by the back hardly and Mark squeaks.

_Goodluck_.

~~~

5 days have passed, Mark is doing well, or so. Although Taeyong told him not to do any work, he sneakily tried to complete the song.

First, if he gets caught, he’s dead. Second, if any of the members sees him doing this, they are going to tell Taeyong and he’s doomed.

Usually, the members don't really give him a hard time, given that he’s already a grown-up person and he can take care of himself.

But speaking of the members, he wonders what they are doing right now?

Today, no one is ‘taking care’ of him. For the first time he gets lonely. He misses the members, dreamies mostly, since it’s been a long time they hang out together. 

Taeyong never checks on him after the third day saying that he’s being obedient for once and he’s glad. But little did Taeyong know that he’s not sleeping properly. And even if the members do check up on him, he pretends to be sleeping or come up with terrible excuses.

Lies.Lies.Lies. And more lies to come.

The clock is ticking. The same sound that he’d been hearing since he’s 15. Once, that ticking sound annoyed his ears but now it fades in the back of his mind, making the room look duller than ever.

He glances, the clock reads 2 am.

_Scribble, scribble_

*Crumple*

_Erase_

*tear*

His body screams pain and exhaustion and he grimaces.

_Just a little bit more_

It’s 4am and he’s been writing since dinner.

~~~

Today, marks the end of the torturous weeks of his life. Surprisingly, he does get a bit of sleep during dawn, 3 hours or less. Then, Taeil or Jungwoo wakes him up, he eats breakfast and goes back to write some more. More writing, less sleeping.

He’s about to enter the kitchen when Jaehyun approaches him.

“Hey, today is the last day, right? Are you sure though? You don’t look so... good”

Mark smiles and just nods. Jaehyun decides that it’s the end of the conversation.

When he sits down at the dining table, he realizes that all of them are looking at him, including Haechan. Seeing him again brings back the pain and the guilty feeling that he’s been hiding.

Mark just keeps quiet and takes the bowl that Johnny gives him.

“Here, eat more vegetables,” says Johnny. Taeil decides to intervene, “Don’t forget to take the vitamins, I restored them for you”.

*Scoff*

Mark looks up, Haechan is covering his mouth and no, he’s not choking. He’s mocking Mark with his eyes and body language. 

_Ache._

_You think you can get away from this Mark?_

His mind is screaming negativity at him.

_Calm down, just eat and go back to your room... I can do this, yes, I can_ , thoughts Mark painfully.

He thinks he’s being discreet about it but Jungwoo notices, “Why are you not eating?” he asks softly. At the same time, Taeyong put a big chunk of meat inside of his bowl.

“Hyung!! I was about to eat that! Why are you giving it to him?! “Haechan shouts and scares all of the members. “Mark needs to eat more, can’t you see how thin and pale he is right now?” Johnny interrupts while Taeyong adds, “Did the vitamins and the pills don’t work? You look more tired than usual”.

“For fuck sake! He can take care of himself, you guys don't need to babysit him” Haechan’s words echo throughout the room. Mark stops chewing his food and quickly puts down his cutlery. He doesn't need to look up to know that he’s being belittled by the said person who just spits those painful words.

_‘Mark, stopped being useless._

_Mark, you need to be mature more.’_

Mark this, Mark that.

All the negativities and bad flashbacks cloud his mind, and slowly his line of vision becomes blurry and slowly his eyes well up in tears. He looks up to Haechan with his stinging eyes, and Haechan is staring at him but his golden eyes waver the moment he sees one of the tears slide down Mark’s cheeks.

“ _Lee donghyuck_!”

Taeyong is livid. That’s the first thing that Taeyong utters after seeing Mark in his new state,

“I what?! You going to put me off for a week like this guy in front of me?” He scoffs again and Mark, Mark had enough. He stands up making the chair screeches on the floor,

“Thank you for the food”, he walks to his room and never looks back. Even after closing his bedroom door, he can hear the commotion outside clearly.

“Fuck you hyung!’

“That’s enough _Lee Donghyuck_!”. He’s pretty sure that’s Johnny. 

More tears drip down from his now puffy eyes. He’s tired, his shoulders hurt and his back is telling him not to proceed in working right now. But he must, he must complete the song even if he’s lying sick on his deathbed. It’s the least he can do for them, a song, a tribute for forgiveness of his wrong doings, his selfishness.

_“Hyung!! You promise us to hang out together at this place !!”_

_“I can’t, I’m sorry I promised Ten to work on our dance steps. Next time okay?”_

_“Mark hyung.. You promised Haechan to come with him to DREAM dorms yesterday? He told you right that we are celebrating our first win on Boom? Plus, it’s been a long time since you hang out with us”_

_Fuck he forgot, he clearly put his phone on mute again._

_“Hi czennies! Have you listened to our album yet?” Jaemin waves to the camera in front of him. Chenle is reading the comments when one comment picked his interest, “What Mark thinks about Ridin?”, he says out loud._

_“Let’s call him then?” Haechan suggests._

_“He’s not answering”_

And just like that, the promises he made with the dreamies now turns empty as he remembers it suddenly, clear and ringing loud in his depressed state of mind.

~~~

Red and purple rays of sunlight tingled on his face as he opened his eyes slowly. It’s dusk now and he doesn’t realize he’s sleeping on the cold floor, hugging his tear-streak hoodie. His legs feel numb when he moves them slowly to the proper position. Sitting up in a slump posture, he stands up slowly, recognizing the lavender-colored wall of his bedroom as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of his surroundings. Slowly, he approaches the window, gazes towards the red-bluish sky turning to indigo, blue and to black in a matter of seconds. There are no longer the sounds of birds chirping, and now it fills with definite silence minus the ongoing traffic outside.

He’s scared to go out. He’s scared to admit to the world, to his members that his level of anxiety has skyrocketed this past few month. After the screaming battles between them earlier (minus him), he’s terrified to face them. To see their facial expression, _do they know the truth now that I didn’t take care of myself as promised this entire week?_

_They must think I'm selfish. Yongie did so much for me but I can’t repay him. No, I don’t even express my gratitude towards them (members) enough._

He decides that he had enough with his inner monologue and now, it’s time to face the truth. Who would’ve thought opening his door knob will be so scary? It’s like entering a mystery world fills with the unknowable--terrifying but its okay. He will be okay.

As expected, it’s empty, aside from a bunch of pillows and cushion scatters on the floor. He glances to the members room, only Jungwoo’s and Jaehyun’s room are light up. Otherwise, the hallway from the living room and the dining is dark and unoccupied. Walking to the kitchen, he sees that there is still some food left for him. _They must have saved some for me ._ And alone Mark eats all the food by himself in the dimly vacant space. Alone and guilty.

He returns back to his room and again sits down on his bed; which is messy as always.

It’s 9 pm and nothing changes except now that his stomach is filled to the brim with lots of food (he finished all of it) --he wants to puke honestly.

~~~

Today is the first day he goes back to the company, finishing all the things he needed to do weeks ago. He’s getting better and there are still no signs of Haechan wherever he goes. Mark is not a coward, no, far from it actually. He did go to the 5th floor several times only to be informed that the person he’s looking for was not there, went out, or stayed at the DREAM’s dorm. These actions repeated several times, and it’s making Mark fed up and honestly, it's just a waste of time.

He already completed the lyrics back at the dorm, now he needs to arrange some of the tracks on his lists. He for sure needs to go to the other people that are involved in composing and producing their songs. After that, more discussion about their main song-- the intro and the bridge (which he took part in composing it) needs to be review. There’s so much more to do and it’s only the first day at the studio room after a one week of his hiatus. He wastes no time and starts making goods out of his incredible talents.

He’s the Mark Lee after all.

~~~

It’s complete. After weeks of making this song it's finally done. Despite his busy schedule with other groups, he made it.

“Now, can you call them Mark?”

_Holy shit, it’s time_

The members arrive minutes later. The first to enter the recording room is the trio, Triple J; Jaemin,Jeno and Jisung. No disgusted expressions being thrown at Mark, clearly all three of them are excited to see him. And apparently Jaemin forgot that Mark participated in this song as to why he’s wondering why Mark is in the room with the head producer much earlier, brows knitted in serious manners.

Since they arrived first, they practice and do their part together with the help of Mark, of course. These feelings, happiness and content, it’s been a while since Mark feels it.

“Haechan” says Mark as he stares at the younger boy with an expectant face, “I’ve been waiting for you…and Renjun too”. He doesn’t miss the way Renjun rolls his eyes at him.

“Jisung! You left me!” The brown-haired boy brushes past Mark as he’s not there. Like he’s Invincible. He doesn’t want to be Invisible man, he wanted to be spiderman remember? 

“Err.. Jaemin hyung said I need to go! Bye, see you later!” Jisung walks fast and slams the door hard and unintentionally as soon as Haechan arrives. He drags Renjun with him. 

“Hey!! But I just got here— “.

Now, there are only two of them standing and avoiding eye contacts with each other.

The room is heavy with silence. It’s awkward and it’s weird to see the person who you adore and closest to is standing in front of you unwillingly. If Mark takes one wrong step, all of this will be futile. Not going to lie, Mark is scared and he wants nothing more than just to have Haechan by his side again. Supporting him and not ridiculing him like they are just a bunch of kids throwing stuff at each other. They are best friends, the best one, but at the same time they aren’t with the way they are flinching when one of them suddenly moves.

The oldest decides that he needs to take the first step,

“We need to talk-- about this, about all of the things that had been going on for the past week. I have a lot of questions, but among them..I just wanted to ask, Why ?” He looks up and sees the younger’s face filled with unexplainable emotions. It’s too much but at the same time, it’s satisfying to see that the younger is uncomfortable as much as Mark does too. His line of shoulders is tense and he’s facing Mark bravely albeit Mark knows that he’s anxious inside.

“ _Donghyuck,_ ” he mutters the name with a pleading voice, “-- I need you to know that I’m sorry. I wish all of this didn’t happen and I wish, please, if you could just tell me what I did wrong. No, I mean-- Let me say that again. Yes, I did lots of wrong things,’’ Mark knows that if he wants Haechan back he needs to be the one surrendering (pleading), “-- and I know you hate me so much right now ---”

“I don’t hate you! .. well, I- I mean go on, continue” the brown-haired boy looks down and Mark surely sees his ears tinted with dusty pink.

“I want you back--” Haechan chokes, “ No !! erm .. uh I mean fuckk, please forgive me. That day, I don’t know what’s going on inside my brain and I’m so frustrated with myself and when you said those words, I just thought that--that, I- I mean nothing to you.. To all of you. I’m shy to admit that I prefer being with you guys more, we spend a lot of time together growing up, and you guys are my pillar of strength--’ he continues, “ I’m sorry and please, stay by my side again ..”

He finishes his last words with a hush whisper. Haechan could have miss it if he’s not closing the space between him and Mark. Slowly, the oldest glances up, seeing a pair of gangly arms hugging him tightly. It’s warm and he misses this. He missed it so so much that he thought how he could’ve survived weeks without Haechan’s happy demeanors around him. He misses Haechan’s cuddles the most, it’s warm and he feels that he belongs. It feels right; it feels home.

“Hey,’’ Haechan speaks softly, scares that he spooks Mark. “I’m sorry too, I was being immature and I hate to admit that I’m wrong sometimes but--” the younger boy looks up, “ I miss you. I’m sorry that I shout at you back in the kitchen or what I said back in the practice room too. I just--I just think that you doesn’t care about _me_ , .. or about the DREAM. You rarely hang out with us anymore, when we called you, you didn’t pick up the call--yes , I know maybe you are busy and I understand--we understand but please remember that you are our friend too. You can rely on us, cry if you wanted to,” Haechan smiles.

His eyes scream sadness and _longing._ Mark needs to know more behind those eyes but until then, next time it is.

After the heart to heart confession, they bask in each other's warmth for a while until Mark spits out what has been bothering in his mind, “So.. are we good ?” Mark speaks and he just realizes that they are still hugging, well he’s not opposed to it, he likes warm cuddles anyways. Maybe it's just Haechan but no one needs to know that. 

“Yeah we’re good”

Mark thought that their conversation was over when suddenly Haechan shouts, “You guys can come in!! Stop eavesdropping, I can see you guys from here !!”

Clearly shocked by the sudden voice, the door bursts open and Jisung stumbles into the room, the rest are following behind. 

The sudden exposure makes Mark shy and he quickly dives into Haechan’s shoulder.

“Hyung! How many times do I have to tell you please don’t shout!” Jisung utters angrily (read: cutely).

The rest are also the same, grumbling and saying whatever going on inside their mind.

“Guys, I’m sorry for being immature and doing the least honorable thing I could do as your hyung. Forgive me?” says mark as he looks at them one by one.

“Honorable thing lol , yeah it’s okay hyung. We already forgive you, we’re not even mad, just sad and a little bit confused” Renjun speaks and Chenle intervenes, “ --just so you know, we're always here okay ?”

A round of _yes, we are here_ _for you_ resonates in the recording room. He should've known that dreamies are always with him, no matter where he stands in his life, either up or down.

_I’m so happy and relieved. Thank God_ , he smiles and looks around him. One thing that never change is that he and _Donghyuck_ are still hugging. He looks up just to notice that the brown-haired boy is staring at him the whole time. What’s new is that there’s a prominent smile on his face. Not sarcastic or annoyed, it’s a genuinely happy and a fond one.

And Mark returns it back, but it’s much happier where his eyes are crescent and slightly lidded. Dimple fully out on display.

Something shifts in _Donghyuck’s_ eyes and his apple cheeks slightly painted in crimson color _. Just a bit of it_. Other than that, all Mark can feel right now is the intense amount of happiness washing through him.

Serotonin.

Everyone needs them.

The end :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, it's a warm-up fic for me so, it's not heavy...yet^^  
> do u see the way I used Donghyuck rather than Haechan when its serious ? haha.
> 
> Kudos and comments would mean so much !! (it gives me motivation to write more honestly)


End file.
